The Art of Becoming – Chapter 1
Discovering Your Authentic Self
To discover one’s authentic self is no simple undertaking. It often begins as a descent—a spiraling plunge into the disquieting corridors of one’s own mind. From the moment we draw breath, we are bound by the clutches of expectation—family, culture, society—molding us into something not of our own creation. The image of the self this creates is one we are told to inhabit, something we are urged to wear until it fuses with our very skin and becomes “who we are.” To question this prescribed identity is to court discomfort, and yet, to avoid the question altogether is to risk becoming a stranger to oneself. The tragedy of the human condition is that so many live and die without ever glimpsing their true nature.
What does it mean, then, to break free from this? To look beneath the imposed roles, inherited beliefs, and societal constructs to find who we are? This unraveling of the self demands a confrontation with our existence itself, an acknowledgment that much of what we have been taught to value (success, status, even virtue) may be nothing more than illusions.
Unfortunately, the expectations of society are not easily dismissed; they are insidious, whispering to us through every interaction, every piece of media, every judgmental glance. Even our own minds, shaped by years of conditioning, can become adversaries, convincing us that the path of least resistance is the only viable route.
I know this struggle intimately. Once, I found myself pursuing a path not of my own choosing but one dictated by the need to prove something to myself, to others, to a world that confuses intelligence with practicality and conformity with success. I chose a STEM field, not because it spoke to me but because it offered a semblance of validation. I convinced myself that this path would earn me respect, that it would silence the doubts of those who had underestimated me. But the further I walked this road, the more hollow it became. My soul rebelled against the life I was constructing, and in that rebellion, I caught a glimpse of something truer.
When I finally allowed myself to turn away, to listen to the voice urging me toward the arts and the written word, I felt an unfamiliar sense of alignment. It was not easy to break away from the expectations that had bound me, nor to face the uncertainty of an unconventional path. Yet, in doing so, I began to understand that authenticity is not about finding the “right” way to live, but about creating a life that resonates deeply with who you are and then learning how to live rightly by that.
This process can be chaotic, uncomfortable, and bewildering. It requires the humility to question everything you once believed to be true and the courage to let go of what no longer serves you. To meet your authentic self, you must be willing to stand in the void, to embrace uncertainty and contradiction, to see yourself as both sculptor and stone. You must look inward and find out from what or whom you seek approval. You must find out what beliefs about success, worth, or happiness have you internalized without question.
Breaking free requires an honest reckoning with the life you are living and the courage to ask whether it reflects your truth or someone else’s vision. This courage often demands looking back at moments when you felt most alive and fulfilled, and asking what those moments reveal about who you truly are. It requires identifying the activities, interests, and experiences that resonate with you on a soul-deep level, even if they defy practicality, convention, or external approval. It is a process of reconstructing your values—not the ones handed down to you, but those that genuinely guide your decisions and bring meaning to your existence.
Freedom is found not just in introspection but in action. Choices, even small ones, must begin to align with your authentic self. This may mean pursuing a passion long buried, stepping away from relationships that drain you, or leaving behind a path that no longer serves you. These actions will likely come with resistance. The world around you, shaped by its own expectations and fears, may not celebrate your authenticity. You may encounter criticism, doubt, or judgment. Your own mind, conditioned to equate conformity with safety and security, may fight to keep you in place. But resistance is not a reason to stop; it is a sign that you are shifting, growing, and stepping into a life that is truly your own.
To break free is to embrace chaos, to relinquish the illusion of certainty, and to trust that the process of growth is deeply human and will lead you to a place of alignment. The self is not a fixed entity waiting to be discovered. It is not something you are, but something you must become.
I urge you to ask yourself:
What beliefs and values have you inherited without question, and which of these truly serve you?
When have you felt most alive, most yourself—and what does that reveal about who you are meant to be?
Are you willing to risk comfort, certainty, and approval to create a life that is truly your own?
Brooke Desieus 