The Art of Becoming – Chapter 5
Becoming Someone You’re Proud Of
We as a society often measure value in currency and curated appearances. If you live with this mindset, it becomes dangerously easy to forget what genuinely makes life worthwhile. The pursuit of external success (wealth, notoriety, applause) has long been confused with the pursuit of self. But the truth is this: becoming someone you are proud of has little to do with the world’s applause and everything to do with the quiet, consistent choices you make when no one is watching.
We are taught, from an early age, to orient our lives around results and metrics. This obsession with outcome leads many to chase a version of success defined not by personal fulfillment, but by the desire to be perceived a certain way by others.
During my time in college, I saw this firsthand. Many chose their paths based not on passion or purpose, but on promise (specifically, the promise of a six-figure salary). They walked the halls heavy with pressure, often disconnected from the subjects they studied. And though they succeeded by conventional standards, the cost was steep: anxiety, burnout, and a lingering sense of dissonance. It seemed clear to me that when your ambitions are not rooted in authenticity, they bloom into burdens.
Becoming someone you’re proud of begins with asking the deeper questions: What do I value? What kind of human do I want to be? What legacy do I want to leave behind, even in the smallest of ways? These questions are less about achievement and more about alignment within. True success isn’t about how much money you make, how many accolades you receive, or how much attention you garner from those around you. It’s about living a life that is true to your values and authentic self. It’s about doing what you love, making a positive impact on the world around you, and feeling fulfilled in your everyday life.
True self-worth cannot be found in mirrors or measurements. A life centered on the fleeting (vanity, youth, appearance) will always leave you hungry. Beauty fades, praise quiets, and time, always in motion, will carry away the things you once clung to. The face changes. The body ages. And if your identity is woven too tightly into these impermanent threads, you risk unraveling alongside them. It is only when we root ourselves in the enduring (character, skill, integrity) that we begin to build a life that prospers.
Integrity is the soil in which self-respect grows. It is the practice of living in such a way that your actions are a reflection of your beliefs. It does not demand perfection, only presence. To live with integrity is to choose truth over convenience and depth over performance. It is choosing to be honest when it would be easier not to be, choosing to take responsibility when it would be easier to blame.
We all fall short. Integrity isn’t about never stumbling, it’s about recognizing when you have, and choosing to rise with humility. When we admit our mistakes, when we apologize, when we make amends, we reinforce the foundation of self-trust. And over time, we begin to carry ourselves differently, not because we are perfect, but because we are whole.
I have found that the people I admire most are not those who impress me, but those who move me. They are honest, even when it costs them. They are kind, even when the world isn’t. They don’t pretend to have all the answers, but they listen. They challenge you (with love) and they welcome challenge in return. These are the people who live deliberately, who carry a quiet strength that doesn’t need to announce itself.
To become someone you’re proud of, you must cultivate that same quiet strength within yourself. This requires self-acceptance; not the kind that excuses stagnation, but the kind that offers grace as you grow. It means acknowledging your flaws without being defined by them, and recognizing your worth even on the days when you falter.
You must learn to silence the inner critic that echoes the voices of others—voices that told you you weren’t enough, weren’t worthy, or weren’t capable. Those voices lie. You are not here to live someone else’s version of a worthy life. Your path is yours alone, shaped by experiences no one else could replicate.
There is no correct way to live a meaningful life. What matters is not the shape your life takes, but the spirit in which you live it. Be willing to make choices that seem strange to others, if they make sense to your soul. Trust your inner knowing, even when it whispers in a world that shouts.
And yet, you must know that things will not happen simply because you are you. The world does not owe you understanding, success, or ease just because you are kind, talented, or trying your best. Becoming someone you’re proud of means releasing entitlement and embracing responsibility. It means showing up, again and again, even when no one notices. Even when it’s hard. Even when the rewards are slow. Your essence is sacred, yes, but sacredness alone doesn’t move mountains. Effort does. Courage does. Commitment does. The most beautiful version of your life will require more of you than you thought you had, and it will be worth it.
Celebrate the small victories; the mornings you rise despite fatigue, the times you spoke up when it was hard, the days you chose compassion when you could have chosen cynicism. These moments matter. Becoming someone you’re proud of is not a destination; it’s a practice. A becoming. A becoming again.
I urge you to ask yourself:
Do I truly enjoy what I’m doing, or am I chasing money, attention, or validation?
Am I becoming someone I respect, or someone I think others will admire?
When faced with difficulty, do I choose what’s easy, or what aligns with my integrity?
Am I building something lasting, or something fleeting?
Brooke Desieus 